सागर की लहरों में डूबता संभलता ,

मैं सोचता था की कब आएगा किनारा

जब शांत किनारे पर बैठा तो लगा,

पीछे छोड़ आया मैं जीवन सारा

यूँ किनारे पर बैठना सपना नहीं था तेरा

लहरों की उछल कूद में , और तूफ़ान के साए में,
सचमुच ही बस्ता था तेरा बसेरा,

हूँ मैं एक मुसाफिर, जिसको बस चलते जाना है..

एक समुन्दर की लहर को छोड़ कर दूसरी में मिल जाना है......

ये कहानी है मेरी ज़िन्दगी की, जो अब जीने का बहाना है

रेतपर पड़े निशानों को पीछे छोड़ कर बस,

आगे ही आगे बढ़ते जाना है...

Chapter II

We were scheduled to leave on Saturday Night at 2 AM ( Sunday Early morning you can call it.. ) . Mummy, like all universal mothers, was getting emotional of having to let her "Aankhon ka Taara " go away and was cooking my favorites for past one week, Papa was busy making calculations for deposition of fee for institute, school, Rent for the PG, Books, list of necessary items and blah blah blah... My younger sis was pretending to be happy as she will get rid of me and she can live in peace and monopoly... And I was going through mixed feelings.. Was upset because I was leaving home for the first time ( Before that I had not even been to Mathura City Market alone ) and was happy too for the new financial INDEPENDENCE. Can spend all bucks on myself for things I always wished to have .. :)

Have packed my bags, too much of luggage including the bulky bedding. We reached station on time and enquired about our train Dehradun Express. It was on time ( the only time when it was punctual in 3 years of my stay in Kota). We boarded the train, arranged our luggage and went to sleep.

Next morning 7 30 AM, we were at Kota ... It seemed to be a nice city. Got out of the railway station and headed towards a new destination, Talwandi where my and Monu's dad had already booked a PG for us.

In about 40 mins, we reached our destination A 244, Bhatnagar House, Talwandi. We were greeted by an old couple Mr & Mrs Bhatnagar, our new caretakers. They showed us our room which was on first floor. It was basically their terrace which had two rooms with different entries,one bathroom and rest was a open space. I and Monu smiled at each other, as from that terrace ,the nearby terraces were clearly visible and thus provided a good source for NSP ( Nain Sukh Prapti ) . By evening we had even identified our targets for "Bird Watching " ;)

Someting more about our caretakers.. the Bhatnagar family. There were three other members besides Mr & Mrs Bhatnagar. Two sons and one daughter in law of theirs. Now, the Faux Pax we did here was very funny. We addressed Mr & Mrs Bhatnagar as Dadaji- Dadiji, The two sons as Bhaiyya and the daughter in law as Didi. They seemed really disturbed by this nomenclature but.. it continued till we lived there.. Dadaji-Dadiji-Bhaiyya and Didi... Bechare !!

In other room, that I mentioned on the terrace, there lived this guy Ankur Garg who was also studying in Bansal Classes, only difference being that we were in class XI and he was in the XIII ( Yes.. XIII is what they call for the batch after Twelfth Class ). In the neighbouring house, there was one more PG in which our another friend Ankit Goyal was staying ( He was not our friend that time but later on we turned out to be partners in crime).

More about Talwandi, it was one of the posh areas in Kota. Near to our PG was Modern School ( having the hottest girls studying there ). Even our School DAV was in Talwandi itself but it was not so green as Modern. There were few fast food outlets nearby and also plenty of students living around. All in all, we were definitely going to have a good time here. ( Abhi tak padhai ke baare mein humne kucch socha hi nahi... ;) .

Mine and Monu's father left a day after settling us in our new PG. They had completed all formalities in the institute and the school. Bought us necessary items , listed down some do's and dont's and bade us Adieu ...........

So.. How did our life turned up in Kota after they left ? Keep watching this space for the next Chapter !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter I

So it started... Class X results were out and against expectations of all I was suddenly there in the toppers list... All of a sudden I became a GOOD BOY in my locality which otherwise kept telling my parents to keep a watch on me as I had a bad circle of friends.. This is our Society which keeps changing its views like the THALI KA BAINGAN ... KABHI IDHAR KABHI UDHAR !!

After results it was time to think NOW WHAT ?? Taste of Success is really addicting. I never wanted to go for Medical Side ( I hated Biology as much it hated me... ) So only option was PCM and ultimately Engineering. So, I started taking opinions of GOOD SENIORS of mine and I was convinced that only IITs would serve to the purpose. So that was IT !! Further research and set of opinions made me understood that my next destination should be a good coaching institute where I can learn the tricks and methods to be an IITian. Delhi was a good choice given that I had got admission opportunity to DPS RKP but suddenly... Mere PAAPI dimaag ne bola " Tere lakshan acche nahi hain... Delhi gaya to watt lag jaayegi teri !! " So.. I moved on to the next best option KOTA, A small dry city in Rajasthan which is very famous now but in those days there were only two or three institutes.

There was an entrance exam for Bansal Classes in which around 4000 students appeared for 300 seats. I was not aware how tough it was as I was one of the TOPPERS of my place but... There I was competing with another 3999 toppers... Phir kya.. Wahi hua jo Hona tha ... Pappu pass NAHI hua....

Anyways.. I was very heartbroken at this failure ( and imagine there was no daaru to support you when your spirits were down... SIGH !!! ) . I started going to tutions and School in Mathura only. Suddenly one day, I got a news that there is going to be second round of admissions for Bansal Classes... I told Monu ( who by the way hates being called Monu in Public but dude.. Cant help it.. ABHISHEK is too long to type everytime I discuss about you... ). We both filled the forms , appeared for exams and came out with... wait.. not exactly flying colours but yes.. We got through ............. DONO PAPPU PAAS HO GAYE !!!

Now it was time to pack our bags and head to kota for a new life!!

Will come back with how we reached Kota and our Spicy start to a new beginning in....

Chapter II !!!

New Life !!

So... Here it is. I have come a long way now and today when I look back I cherish the memories time has given to me in all these years. Will turn 27 in two months from now. Its been 11 years when I left home to join a coaching class in Kota for IIT JEE. Dont exactly remember how was I alive before that. Lots of dreams in my eyes when I left for Kota. And I wonder some times... Life has been good to me. To all people who know me, have been a part of my journey for 11 years, in and out of difficult times... I just want to say.. THANK YOU !! I will always cherish your memories like jewel in the crown. For those who dont know me or have missed some part of the action from my life , get ready for a journey back to the Best Times !!

Watch out this space friends..... WIll soon return with Chapter I of the Journey called Life !!

Nostalgia

( its not only the blog but also the comments which follow!! )

Hello All,

I know I am just wasting some space by putting up an address field of a blog which i never write but believe me, I write only when I feel there is a need to talk to soo many people about it and I wont be able to repeat it again and again. So, guest appearance to this blog world at 3 AM in night is just because I saw a movie " The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" right now.

I know I am not a movie critic or something but yes I am great fan of 70 mm. I would strongly recommend people who have not seen this movie to see it. It is one of the Oscar nominees and you ll understand why once you watch it. Comparing it to " Slumdog Millionaire" I feel there is some fine difference in both and yet both alike !! Both the movies tell something. While the latter shows us the reality ( which we already know) about people ,their behaviour in slums/ cities in India( region specific) , the former takes us to a world about which we rarely think about. Some of the lines from the movie are just awesome. The acting is something that makes you feel on cloud 11 and there are some bits of YOU every there and then. We all are just busy in our studies/ jobs and stuff like that but we hardly take some time out alone with ourselves to think how many moments of joy we have spent together and how many more could had been spent. One of my friends, Potter aka Hemant Vyas, wrote a small, simple and humble mail just a week ago asking a small question.... What and for Whom are we doing whatever we are into? Are we doing those things to enjoy our life or we are living to enjoy those things? Many a times we miss some moments of Joy and Togetherness with our dear ones just because we are BUSY !! Busy with something which we are doing to keep our dear ones happy and we are ignoring them when they are indeed having moments of joy just because we are BUSY. Have you ever realised the smile on Dad's face when you are back home after a long gap and tearful eyes of Mom when you are a day before leaving to "WORK". We are just chasing a mirage and we always try to beat the Horizon...................... Its time to realise that we work to live not live to work !! Enjoy life to the fullest. Try being with your dear ones, family, pals as much as you can because " Life is not measured in Years that you live but the Moments you breathe" !!!!!

GETTING A STRANGE FEELING INSIDE!!!

This is the final year and final semester of the college, the thing i had longed for a long time. Always wanted to run away from this place as i never realised what it was giving to me. But now, when only few months are there i wonder how the life would be after these 3 months. All wonderful friends, all masti and all stupid stuffs we are blessed with in this place will be gone. We came as boys and walking away as MEN!!
Hell lot of responsibilities creeping on the shoulders , world turning more hostile and above all paying everything on your own(this is the most ridiculous of all).
We all think that we ll able to keep in contacts but....on the inside everyone knows that once we get through new lives at different places the world would be a changed one.
still i will miss my friends a lottttt...i know this is not the end . memories that have embedded in these four years will shine forever and ever.....

RENISSANCE

hello friends m back to my blog again after a span of long time. i know i had decided to be regular with my posts but couldnt help because of some unavoidable situations going on. but i apologize for the same and will now try to be regular with my posts. to start it all over again m producing below a poem which i jotted down in my very first class after my supplimentary exam i.e. my war for existence........................

WHEEL OF LIFE- the struggle for existence!!!!

Long time ago there lied a deep sea,
No expressions ,no feelings born inside me.

I had the peace of mind,
The world then seemed to be kind,
As the years passed by,
I had many questions of why......

Nobody was able to answer me
The world got ready to slither me.

I ran from it, I screemed with pain,
But no one came to my aid and it all went in vain.

Soon I realised I was all alone,
I need to build my strength and fight on my own.

Life is a gift, dont let it go,
Live for your family , friends or even foe

The clock keeps ticking and world gets moving,
Success is on your way and the days are grooming!!!!!!!!

cant explain......


Everytime and everyday i see the mirror and say to myself chandan this day is all yours .....just go n conquer it..but many a times i let this feeling down by surrendering myself to some selfish causes of people around me....no these people are not my close ones for whom i am too much concerned but these are people who are not making any positive difference out of my life...TEACHERS as you say......this word has lost its meaning somewhere in the past... now the position of teachers has been taken aside by some teacher alike creatures who are nothing more than dictators who just to satisfy their egoistical hungers are having a feast on student's future so as to serve a purpose that by doing this the students will remember them forever...yes for one moment they succeed but have they ever thought as to doing all such deeds where would their students land... they are just killing the rational thinking amongst the students and what is left behind is a much selfish personality who has no space for feelings ..he just wants to get through his studies doing every bit of thing that can please a teacher. i never thought of doing such things in life but they are compelling me to do it. many of my batch have started opting for this cut throat competition of pleasing the teacher so as to get good grades. i cant convince myself to do such because i myself know that this is not going to help me in any way after a span of 4 or 5 yrs of life after graduation. after disgusting performances in first few semesters i started feeling that may be i am not givin the best of me.but after 6the results of last sem it made me clear about all wrong perceptions of mine. there is something called ACTIVATION ENERGY required to do well in each field of development and this is sure u cant reach that point without a catalyst or a person who can pull you off from a crowd of so called useless people.................huhhh!!!!

WHAT M I DOIN ???


How it came ? When will it go ? I am depressed ? I am excited ?It all started with love and ends with it! This feeling of being in LOVE is really weird ? So complicated ! So overwhelming! So overpowering!There exist a person/persons whose presence makes u feel better, may be best. No it’s not infatuation. It is not merely attraction. It is beyond it....the thing which is even difficult to feel....i can only feel some excitement, some restlessness, and some confusion!Love...i think is very essential. It changes you! It makes u feel good, think good, perform better as an individual. It makes u happy!Love is full of adventures. Why would anyone search for them if his own self (read mind) is playing such games with him ?All these were the manifestations of love but what it exactly is ? It is YOU my friend! b'coz u have made all this possible for me. Now i can feel it. Now i can think like this.

INNER CONFLICTS

There are few moments in life when you try to escape from everything and do only one task that gives u pleasure. Thinking about yourself, your own life..... is something that we try to escape from as this discomforts us as we dont want to get off the goody goody things.
i had always tried to escape from that. I used to think earlier in a manner that what should i do that would not displease anyone around me and will earn appreciation for me. All this would put me in a situation where i found myself nowhere in any scene. That made me think should i change this attitude , or should i wait and see what all is there in HIS store for me.
A time came when i was lacking behind in everything. Be it studies , competition, girlfriends and the most important thing CONFIDENCE. One day i decided that i'll not let my life control me but i will again rise from scraps and show the world what kind of dignity i owe. M still in the process and m sure one day when the sun will rise saying... " GOOD MORNING CHANDAN". !!!!!

HI ALL !!!

Finally, after so much of chaos and all those no-time excuses i am here with my own blog. Right from the first day when this blogging concept started around me i thought i was going to create my blog too. So here i am to share with you all some of my inner most feelings. Hope i present the real side of mine in these blogs. I ll try to be very original and very interesting . But, if you ever find that i am slipping off the main stream please make me over it.